Being a parent is an ever-winding ride. Just when you think you have it “all together” (I guess some people feel that, right?), life inevitably twists and you are left trying to figure it out all over again. The recent coronavirus/COVID-19 pandemic is no exception. Many of us parents are trying to figure out how to adjust to the impact on our jobs, school/daycare, social connection, spring break, society, getting essentials (e.g., diapers, milk, mac-n-cheese, etc) and other every day routines. Let alone figuring out if or how to share the news with our children. Many of our first instincts is to protect our children from the frightening news and we worry about increasing fear in our children by sharing information about the virus; however, research demonstrates that the more we keep children out of the loop in these situations, the more they actually worry. Our brains are complex meaning making machines working on hyper-speed. They are constantly piecing information together, trying to connect dots, and filling in the blanks to better understand the world around us. When we do not give our brains a word bank (aka context, facts, etc), it automatically fills in the blank on it’s own and often times with things that are even more frightening than reality. Have you ever seen a shadow in your room in the middle of the night and your mind tried to convince you it was a danger, but really it was the laundry you have not put away? That is your brain filling in the blanks. Here are some helpful tips and considerations to use when providing that word bank to your children in these challenging times:
Other helpful resources: https://www.flipsnack.com/KeshetChicago/coronavirus-social-story/full-view.html E-story about explaining COVID-19 to young children. https://www.brainpop.com/health/diseasesinjuriesandconditions/coronavirus/ Animated video for children about Coronavirus. https://www.cdc.gov/coronavirus/2019-ncov/community/schools-childcare/talking-with-children.html for specific facts and language about explaining COVID-19 to children. https://higherlogicdownload.s3.amazonaws.com/NASN/3870c72d-fff9-4ed7-833f-215de278d256/UploadedImages/PDFs/02292020_NASP_NASN_COVID-19_parent_handout.pdf Parent resource from the National Association of School Nurses. https://www.cdc.gov/childrenindisasters/helping-children-cope.html CDC on helping children cope in a disaster. The post Talking with Children about COVID-19 appeared first on Care Counseling : Minneapolis Therapists. from https://care-clinics.com/talking-with-children-covid-19/ from https://careclinics.weebly.com/blog/talking-with-children-about-covid-19
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In my lifetime I’ve had to make many difficult decisions but often had time to think about my options carefully and then make a choice. Like choosing whether to be a stay-at-home parent or a working parent. There are many pros and cons to consider in each scenario. With COVID-19, I did not have to make a choice. The decision was made for me…
As a working parent, my children had their routine and I had mine. We each had a schedule to follow. When to get up in the morning to be ready for school and work… What time to catch the bus and when to leave for the morning commute… Mid-year school year is not any easy time to change. Friendships and activities are established. Important learning is happening, big assignments are due, and testing is taking place.
This year many parents are feeling the pressure as they transition to being a stay-at-home parent while also maintaining other work-related responsibilities and trying to create balance. It can feel like a literal balancing act!
If you are starting to feel alone in the struggle, know that many other parents are there too.
Common experiences include:
One of the things that a lot of parents are navigating right now is how to separate (or integrate) work and home. As a parent, it may seem that you are “always on call” and depending on your outside responsibilities, it can be challenging to find the time, space, and energy to balance multiple roles and responsibilities with the transition to stay-at-home.
Some helpful strategies include:
It can also be more challenging to take a break and utilize social and self-care outlets such as getting a coffee with friends, working out at the gym, or getting a massage which can lead to feelings of isolation. If possible, rotate breaks with a co-parent while working together to tackle household tasks. The idea of the “good enough” parent comes to mind as striving to become a good parent while also being kind to yourself (and others) despite a desire for perfection.
Ways to help reduce social isolation include:
Finally, as caregivers, we often focus on our children and neglect to care for ourselves. Maintaining good physical and emotional health is so important, especially during times of increased stress. Strategies to keep ourselves and our families healthy and strong such as exercise, eating healthy, and maintaining health and wellness goals are vital. Many ideas can be integrated with children. Ideas include:
The post Stay-at-Home, Work-from-Home: Too Much to Soon? appeared first on Care Counseling : Minneapolis Therapists. from https://care-clinics.com/stay-at-home-work-from-home-too-much-to-soon/ from https://careclinics.weebly.com/blog/stay-at-home-work-from-home-too-much-to-soon COVID-19 Relief Resources
If you’ve recently lost your job or need to feed your family:
from https://care-clinics.com/covid-19-relief-resources/ from https://careclinics.weebly.com/blog/covid-19-relief-resources Our Telehealth StoryThe winter of 2018 was filled with very cold temperatures and lots of snow. CARE had many clients unable to attend much needed appointments due to being unable to make it to the clinic or felt it was unsafe to travel to the clinic. We thought about how in addition to snowstorms, so people in Minnesota live in place that do not have accessible mental health therapists. The problem was clear and the solution to offer telehealth services just made sense. Over the summer of 2018, we began attending telehealth trainings and developed our first edition of our telehealth consent form for our clients. In early fall, we identified a HIPAA compliant platform for telehealth and signed the business agreement. We used the next six months to refine our processes and by Spring of 2019, we began planning with Fairview’s Behavioral Health Provider Network to be their exclusive telehealth provider to help both CARE and Fairview develop and refine our systems to be the best in the state so that we can serve people in need. In the Summer of 2019, we trained our entire team in telehealth and this is a mandatory training since that time for all new hires at CARE. Last summer, we have 40 provides who are all trained in telehealth and have experience with this type of therapy. In the summer and fall of 2019, we continued to refine our consent form and changed our platform to one that is faster, has exceptional tools to support therapy, and is beyond easy to use (even for people who find technology confusing). CARE’s intentionality with telehealth has been so important to us and is a reflection of our ongoing mission to build a community (train and support our team) to strengthen the community. Our telehealth partnership with Fairview, dedication to training our entire team over the past 10 months, and having a system that is super easy to use has set the stage for CARE to help in many ways during the COVID-19 epidemic and healthcare crisis. We are not only set up to see all of our current clients via telehealth but we are positioned to help new people of all ages who are struggling during this stressful time. We have well established, thoughtful systems and processes we want to share with other mental health providers who are new or have never done telehealth prior to COVID-19. We want our fellow mental health agencies to stay afloat and be able to adapt to this “new normal” so that as a mental health community we can continue to do our important work for everyone in need of mental health support. from https://care-clinics.com/our-telehealth-story/ from https://careclinics.weebly.com/blog/our-telehealth-story
Intolerance of uncertainty, which has been increasing in the U.S., makes people vulnerable to anxiety. A study during the 2009 H1N1 pandemic showed that people who had a harder time accepting the uncertainty of the situation were more likely to experience elevated anxiety. The solution is to learn to gradually face uncertainty in daily life by easing back on certainty-seeking behaviors. Start small: Practice tolerating uncertainty. Don’t text your friend immediately the next time you need an answer to a question. Go on a hike without checking the weather beforehand. As you build your tolerance-of-uncertainty muscle, you can work to reduce the number of times a day you consult the internet for updates on the outbreak.
Anxiety rises proportionally to how much one tries to get rid of it. Or as Carl Jung put it, “What you resist persists.” Struggling against anxiety can take many forms. People might try to distract themselves by drinking, eating or watching Netflix more than usual. They might repeatedly seek reassurance from friends, family or health experts. Or they might obsessively check news streams, hoping to calm their fears. Although these behaviors can help momentarily, they can make anxiety worse in the long run. Avoiding the experience of anxiety almost always backfires. Instead, allow your anxious thoughts, feelings and physical sensations to wash over you, accepting anxiety as an integral part of human experience. When waves of coronavirus anxiety show up, notice and describe the experience to yourself or others without judgment. Resist the urge to escape or calm your fears by obsessively reading virus updates. Paradoxically, facing anxiety in the moment will lead to less anxiety over time.
Health threats trigger the fear that underlies all fears: fear of death. When faced with reminders of one’s own mortality, people might become consumed with health anxiety and hyperfocused on any signs of illness. Try connecting to your life’s purpose and sources of meaning, be it spirituality, relationships, or pursuit of a cause. Embark on something important that you’ve been putting off for years and take responsibility for how you live your life. Focusing on or discovering the “why” of life can go a long way in helping you deal with unavoidable anxiety.
Many people fear how they will manage if the virus shows up in town, at work or at school. They worry how they would cope with a quarantine, a daycare closure or a lost paycheck. Human minds are good at predicting the worst. But research shows that people tend to overestimate how badly they’ll be affected by negative events and underestimate how well they’ll cope with and adjust to difficult situations. Be mindful that you are more resilient than you think. It can help attenuate your anxiety.
Coronavirus can be dangerous, with an estimated 1.4% to 2.3% death rate. So everyone should be serious about taking all the reasonable precautions against infection. But people also should realize that humans tend to exaggerate the danger of unfamiliar threats compared to ones they already know, like seasonal flu or car accidents. Constant incendiary media coverage contributes to the sense of danger, which leads to heightened fear and further escalation of perceived danger. To reduce anxiety, I recommend limiting your exposure to coronavirus news to no more than 30 minutes per day. And remember that we become more anxious when faced with situations that have no clear precedent. Anxiety, in turn, makes everything seem more dire.
During these anxiety-provoking times, it’s important to remember the tried-and-true anxiety prevention and reduction strategies. Get adequate sleep, exercise regularly,practice mindfulness, spend time in natureand employ relaxation techniques when stressed. Prioritizing these behaviors during the coronavirus crisis can go a long way toward increasing your psychological well being and bolstering your immune system.
People who are vulnerable to anxiety and related disorders might find the coronavirus epidemic particularly overwhelming. Consequently, they might experience anxiety symptoms that interfere with work, maintaining close relationships, socializing or taking care of themselves and others. If this applies to you, please get professional help from your doctor or a mental health professional. Cognitive behavioral therapy and certain medications can successfully treat anxiety problems. Although you might feel helpless during this stressful time, following these strategies can help keep anxiety from becoming a problem in its own right and enable you to make it through the epidemic more effectively. Click here for more resources on managing COVID-19 Anxiety from https://www.care-clinics.com/7-science-based-strategies-to-cope-with-coronavirus-anxiety/ from https://careclinics.weebly.com/blog/7-science-based-strategies-to-cope-with-coronavirus-anxiety Bayview Asphalt is a small paving company, employing about two dozen people. Over the past decade, the Seaside, Ore., business has lost two employees to suicide. The company isn’t alone in the industry in dealing with such tragedy. Among occupations in the U.S., workers in construction and extraction face the highest rate of suicide, according to a January report from the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, which was based on data from 32 states participating in the National Violent Death Reporting System.“I don’t want to lose more employees,” said Tim Wirkkala, Bayview’s operations manager. In an effort to lower the risk, Bayview has begun showing all new hires a safety video featuring a discussion of mental-health awareness. The company also recently printed up shirts for workers with mottoes such as “Never lose hope” and the number for a suicide hotline. The goal is to shake up the construction industry’s culture. While the industry might project a tough-guy image, its workers are especially vulnerable to suicide, according to experts. They point to the high concentration of men—who are more at risk for suicide—as well as the transient work, low pay, tough schedules and physical rigors that can lead to self-medication “It’s almost in our DNA. We don’t talk about our feelings,” said Cal Beyer, director of risk management for Lakeside Industries, Bayview’s Seattle-area parent company. “The culture is stoic, as is typical of male-dominated industries.” The push to curb suicides in the industry has been gathering momentum. The industry group Construction Financial Management Association has developed suicide prevention guides for companies, with chapters holding around a dozen summits on the topic in recent years. Other industry task forces to address the issue have sprung up in Washington and Oregon. Many say suicide prevention is a safety imperative. In 2018, for example, 10 construction workers in Washington state died on the job. Yet far more died by suicide: At least 125 people classified as working in the state’s construction and extraction industries—which includes mining and oil drilling—killed themselves that year. Nearly 38,000 working-age Americans died by suicide in 2017, a 40% jump in less than two decades. Jane Pearson, special adviser on suicide research at the National Institute of Mental Health, said she is encouraged that more employers are addressing the issue. In the same way many workplaces offer opportunities for employees to have their blood pressure taken or cholesterol evaluated, she said mental-health training sessions can make workers more In recent years, construction fatalities nationwide have remained stuck at around 1,000 a year despite advances in safety technology, said Eric Stenman, president of U.S. buildings at infrastructure group Balfour Beatty. As a potential distraction from often physically dangerous work, mental health should be firmly on the industry’s agenda, he said.“All firms of any size or competence level—whether remodeling homes or building hospitals—need to be aware,” he said. Balfour Beatty’s safety posters now include illustrations emphasizing the importance of mental wellness. The company also has trained around 250 managers and foremen in mental-health awareness and outfitted their hard hats with “Need to Talk?” stickers encouraging co-workers to reach out if they need assistance. One of the largest general contractors in the U.S., Hoffman Construction Co., is also encouraging workers to talk frankly about their emotions. The company has begun converting part of their on-site construction trailers into “safe rooms” where workers can come before their shifts for peer-to-peer discussions about mental-health struggles they may be facing. “We have an obligation,” said Michael Bennett, vice president at The Cianbro Cos., a construction firm that operates in more than 40 states. “You could turn a blind eye and say that’s not us—but it is us.” The company is having 200 supervisors undergo mental-health training, part of a program it kicked off in July. “We don’t pretend to be professionals, but if we can raise our awareness and recognize the signs, we should provide people with help,” he said. Such help could include referrals to counseling, leaves of absence and temporarily reassigned work duties, he said. One challenge is the construction industry’s fragmented nature. There are hundreds of thousands of companies in the U.S., the most of which have fewer than 10 employees, with no human-resources departments and often minimal benefits. Eleni Reed, who works on sustainability for construction company Lendlease, said the company hopes to use its platform to try to help influence others. To date, around 10% of its 1,600 U.S. employees have taken an 8-hour workshop on mental health and suicide prevention. Lendlease also is piloting a shorter, similar training it hopes to eventually roll out for thousands of its contractors. “We want to drive change through the entire sector,” she said. When mental health posters first started appearing at Lakeside Industries work sites a few years ago, Mike Schute, then in plant operations, said he and co-workers laughed. “We were rough and tumble, loudmouth, judgmental guys just there to make fun of each other,” Mr. Schute said. But the culture is changing, he said, with more workers willing to talk about mental health on the job: “It’s definitely still uncomfortable. But it’s out there, and not as shocking as it was.” from https://www.care-clinics.com/construction-industry-tackles-suicide-an-occupational-hazard/ from https://careclinics.weebly.com/blog/construction-industry-tackles-suicide-an-occupational-hazard Have you ever looked at someone and noticed a series of scars on their wrists? Did you make a face or pass judgement about that person without knowing who they are or what they’re going through? Likely. Of the many symptoms of mental health conditions, self-harm is one of the least understood and least sympathized. It’s also one of the few physically visible symptoms. Therefore, it’s often responded to in a way that’s derogatory and potentially harmful. For example: “That’s just teenage angst.” “Why would anyone do that to themselves?” “You’re just trying to get attention.” These reactions grossly undermine how serious self-harm is. Self-Harm is usually a sign that a person is struggling emotionally and isn’t sure how to cope. It’s a sign that a person needs support, understanding and professional help. Most importantly, it’s a sign that shouldn’t be ignored or judged. Your Initial ResponseIt can be shocking to notice a person’s self-harm scars. Your instinct may be to stare or immediately express shock. But self-harm is a sensitive topic that should be approached in a certain way. Whether you know the person or not, it is essential not to display shock or horror even if that’s how you feel. Don’t say anything that could shame them or make them feel judged or foolish. You don’t want to draw attention to their scars, especially in public. If the person is a close friend or family member, don’t ignore what you’ve seen. Wait until you are with them in private, and then talk to them about what you noticed. Having A Meaningful ConversationThe most important part of talking to someone about self-harm is to frame the conversation in a supportive and empathetic way. Show concern for their well-being and be persistent if they don’t open up right away. When having a conversation about self-harm, consider the following do’s and don’ts: Do:
Don’t:
Continuing SupportAfter that first conversation, it’s important to follow-up with your loved one to show your ongoing support. If they have not sought out care, continue to ask about it and offer to help them find a mental health professional. You can also offer to help identify their self-harm triggers. You can do this by asking questions like: “What were you doing beforehand?” “Was there anything that upset you or stressed you out that day?” If a person is more aware of their triggers, it could help prevent future self-injury. Assisting your loved one find and practice healthier coping mechanisms is also a great way to help. Self-harm is a serious issue that should be addressed as soon as you find out it’s happening. Keep in mind that one of the best things you can instill in a person who is self-harming is that you are there for them and that you care about them. You can always be helpful to someone even if you don’t understand what they’re going through.
from https://www.care-clinics.com/how-to-respond-to-self-harm/ from https://careclinics.weebly.com/blog/how-to-respond-to-self-harm Grieving someone alive is not a conventional form of grief that is often talked about, but is a real issue that is faced by the living. Death is often viewed as the base requirement for grief but mourning the deceased is only one facet of death. If you have never experienced this, you likely do not understand what we’re talking about. How can you grieve for someone that you haven’t lost? If you have experience this sort of grief, you probably are cheering inside your head that someone has finally put to words what you’re feeling. Grieving for someone alive, is not the same as anticipatory grief. Anticipatory grief is the type of grief that comes about when you know that you will soon be experiencing a loss, such as when a loved one is dying or in the hospital. If you are experiencing anticipatory grief or looking for resources on it, please visit the following link: http://www.whatsyourgrief.com/anticipatory-grief/. WHY UNCONVENTIONAL GRIEF HAPPENSIf you’re not familiar with this form of grief, you may be unsure how this is possible or what often triggers this form of grief in people. Often, this form of grief is caused by a loved one becoming someone that you no longer know or recognize. COMMON CAUSES OF UNCONVENTIONAL GRIEF• Mental Illness The unfortunate truth of grieving someone alive is that they are still there as the person you once knew but psychologically are a different person than they were before. Also, many of these factors are outside of the control of the person experiencing them or the person who is watching their loved one suffer. It can be hard for either party to recognize because the person does not always look like they are sick. Don’t look at these causes and think that they mean that you love this person any less though. This form of grief, just like grieving someone who is deceased, does not change the level of attachment to the person. Simply, this person is no longer acting how they were before and have had a dramatic shift in personality. If your brother is suffering from a drug addiction, his behavior may become erratic and he might start stealing from yourself or other family members. Some will grieve the life that he is not living as he focuses living for his addiction. If someone is dealing with a mental illness, they may now be dealing with depression so badly that they are unable to go on living their life or they may be experiencing delusions or hallucinations. A person will experience many emotions while grieving someone alive. These emotions may be more powerful and more confusing than the grieving process for someone who has recently passed. Anger is a prominent emotion that shows up. The grieving individual could feel anger towards their loved one for the issues they are dealing with and have a hard time understanding that they may not be able to change, such as in the case of mental illness. While experiencing anger, you may feel guilty as well that you are experiencing anger or guilty that you cannot control or change the situation. Unlike when someone dies, you are unlikely to experience positive emotions while grieving someone alive. When someone passes, you are surrounded by the comfort of their loved ones and are often able to look at the joy of their life. This rarely happens with unconventional or ambiguous grief. Just like when someone dies, you are likely to be overcome with sadness. However, the reminder of your sadness is constant every time you think of this person or hear about them. How to Grieve Someone Alive• Let yourself grieve. Don’t attempt to hide or suppress your grief for this situation just because society or your loved ones don’t understand or acknowledge what you’re going through. Be open to sharing how your feeling to close family and friends and don’t push yourself to be someone you’re not at this time. Unconventional Grief, Ambiguous Grief, or grieving someone alive are all very real and pertinent forms of grief that need to be treated, understood and addressed. Become a member of The American Academy of Bereavement today to find more resources on grief.
from https://www.care-clinics.com/unconventional-grieving/ from https://careclinics.weebly.com/blog/unconventional-grieving-grieving-someone-alive |
AuthorHello its me Lisa Johnson i am 32 years old from Mission, TX. I am professional family therapist and i also deals in adult therapy and children’s therapy. Archives
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